Went downtown yesterday for Love the Homeless. I came across a homeless man lodging under the "no illegal lodging sign". Despite his situation, he seemed so chipper, so full of joy. He was cracking jokes left and right, and I commented on how joyful he was. What he said next will never leave me. "When you're where I am, you just have to laugh". He has been homeless for 18 years.
As we walk back to our cars, I was just struck with awe. I have everything. I really do. Yet sometimes, I can't even manage to force a smile. Why is that? Our society has everything, yet it's so empty. You truly have to be willing to lose everything you have to be able to just laugh. It takes having nothing, to smile, because you have nothing to lose. This was something I found in Malawi. Absolutely nothing in the physical, but so full of something in the metaphysical. That something: love, joy, hope.
Maybe there's something in my life I'm not willing to give up. Something that I'm holding onto so tightly. I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling I'll find out soon. The funny thing is that I thought I had let go already. Let go of something I would never have the strength to let go. But I'm realizing now that I'll always going to be called to give up things, things that are the hardest for me to give up. Something that's not physical, but mental.
Maybe it really takes willing to lose everything to be able to smile again.
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